Wassup single ladies! Shoutout to the single ladies. Being alone and on Team LoneLee during the wedding season can be a little rough for the single ladies. Fortunately, I am an expert in giving advice to single womens. Here are some guidelines for the upcoming wedding season!
- Guys only like girls with shit loads of makeup. Don’t be shy with a 2nd or 3rd coat of it.
- Remember this day may never happen for you! Better find someone (anyone) tonight.
- Wedding Receptions are a great a place to cry in the bathroom to get attention :)
- How about some more makeup?
- Being fake happy for your newly married friend is unnoticeable most times!
- Renting that size 6 was a mistake.
- Sigh. Even your friends sloppy-fat, sweaty husband would be better than alone. :/
- Makeup time!
- Crying time!
- Wake up next to the bus boy.
- Attend “Boozy Brunch” with lifelong regrets and soul-crushing depression.
Yay! You should be on the fast track to YOUR special day where everyone takes pictures of you that you’ll be super depressed about the day after because the peak moment of your life has passed you.
