After you get married, its basically a shot clock on how long you can last before the buzzer sounds (death). If you take a shot early, people will think you’re a ball hog. If you wait until last minute, you might not get a 2nd-chance rebound and will die alone.
Attending another wedding can really stir up a lot of different thoughts in your head.
Here are a few thoughts that inevitably cross the married person’s mind while at another couple’s wedding:
- Watching other people take their vows is a great reminder of how your spouse has disappointed you
- See #1
- See #2
- Ugh, is your husband really going eat a 2nd piece of cake?
- Ugh, is your wife eating a single piece of cake?
- Are divorces performed in the church too?
- See #3
- Stop eating f*cking cake!!!
- Google #6
- I wonder if the best man thinks I’m pretty
- I know the maid of honor is into me, the only un-attractive part of me is my wife.
- If I didn’t have kids I would be skinnier.
- If I didn’t have kids I would leave my spouse.
- Screw it, I’m going to eat cake.
- Today is the absolute peak of the marriage for the bride and groom lol
- Cry about #4
- Plan on re-marrying
Enjoy wedding season my convenant-chained bebs!
