I rented Redbox movie this weekend . The movie IT is about a clown that has too many kids and teeth. I was finally excited to see it as it brought some important culture themes in discussion like going down in sewers is popular again. Makes you think with where we are as a country and if it’s bigger meaning for now everyone living in each others messes. Wow. (Pause). Now Im not against sewers, the Teenage Turtles lived there and despite what fake news (CNN ) said it was sanitary as they ate pizza and anchovies with their friend who was a talking Rat. The rat was so good at Making Pizza he left his sewer Turtles behind for a better life as a chef and Got his own Hollywood career as Rat-tat-tooie but that is a whole other path for another blog post you guys. Whatever your opinion on living in feces is, the movie IT sure seems to TRY and steer the audience to most of the negatives. Here is list of no-BS review of sewers :
Pros of sewers:
- Less light equals less skin cancer, just simple Math (subtraction)
- Ninja turtles
- Tobacco friendly
- Free
Cons:
- Noteworthy increase of illness and other cancers
- Must bring your own tobacco, no vendors once there
- Tough to get into and out of
- Poor branding perception (From my ex-wives probably )
Ive never been super scared of clowns but I am scared of men who are balding and let the sides grow out too long. This clown clearly has some recess hair lines and Not talking elementary school recess folks. He must be using some sort of volumizing shampoo on the outsides because it poofs up like kind of frizzy and thicc. He’s got a real cul-de-sack going on his head I have to say I respect him for his dedication, he is the Vital Sassoon of Balding gingers.
Our balding clown friend is terrorizing kids and dentists throughout the movie. His overbite is simply too noticeable and I wonder if it’s part of his clown bit to make people laugh, I have a hard time laughing at peoples misfortunes who dont Have braces pretty insensitive overall there. He might have the new invisible braces which are barely noticeable kind of like my deadwife Blanche . And to make matters worth when he opens his mouth he has like 8 rows of MORE shark teeth , this kind of reminds me of a Barracuda i shot off Virgin Island with nothing But a water spear and a belly full Of whiskey LOL.
The truly scary part of this movie is that this clown comes out of the sink holes and toilets which means that he has literally survived my cousin Geoff’s bathroom trips after Thanksgiving this guy is tough as nails sorry for being candid. Luckily I’ve had a pretty intense fear of public restrooms and so I’ve been holding it since about 2007 and I couldn’t relate to this fear of clowns coming out of that hole. I also have guns That i am willing to SHOOT for any Trustpassers, this is still America and I support the 2nd Amendment because I’m a PATRIOT.
What’s truly remarkable is none of these kids have good parents or hobbies. This movie was based in 1980s which was before smart phones but at my Grandkids play PlayStation and podcasts instead if sewer hunting smh. Ronald Reagan invented trickled down economics during this time and I wonder if these Kids misunderstood the meaning of it and headed down the Sewer.
It’s important motif In this movie that bullying fat kids was also popular In the 80’s.There’s one little cute chubby kid who is Super Nice and he tries to court the redHead girl. Being a former fat kid it was nice to See me represeneted but when she chooses the Skinny boy for affection it was a painful reminder that chubby chasers simply DONT exist.
Its’ important to note that there is a Bully in the movie, besides the Federal government. They clearly make this kid with a Mullet to look like an angry version of PigPen from Snoopy cartoon. I think they are trying to lead on the Audience that he is sort of like Confederate army but I guess they dont understand HERITAGE.
