Dude I LOVE generic, industrial cheese that is chemicalized and dumped on nachos at 7-11 and the ballpark. This guy obviously beat me to the punch by planning the most classic heist. This Iowa-version of Danny Ocean apparently had the brilliant plan of stealing donuts and nacho cheese and walking straight out the front door with the stolen goods already having already been digested.
via: DMR
Employees told police that Husted walked around the grocery store eating doughnuts and drinking milk without paying for them. The Fareway employees said they observed him pick up several items, including nacho cheese, before trying to exit the store without paying for them…..
So, how does stealing “nacho cheese” work? Is it something where you put your mouth on the nacho cheese dispenser? Maybe like this:
I did a quick artist rendition of what this might look like more accurately
After Danny “Cheesin” Ocean was done with his donuts and cheese, apparently he was still a bit hungry.
When a second male employee came to the woman’s aid, Husted bit the man in the arm, leaving a large, red mark, police say.
Good luck to the District Attorney on prosecuting this guy. Its pretty tough to find the evidence if it was already deliciously dripped into his mouth from a 7-11 nacho cheese spout.
Begs the question — why do we not have cheese doughnuts and sugar-laden Velveeta? Yes, it’s an acquired taste, like mint sardines or catsup crackers. Also: who’s doing the graphics?! Looks like Etch-a-Sketch on excess caffeine, but it’s quite lovable. Hope you will sell as a poster in your swag shop..
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