Let’s get our massive assault rifles ready boys, just great news for all my fellow big-game hunters out there. Conservationists have been secretly letting rhinos have sex in hiding and apparently its working.
Ten years ago, roughly 20800 rhinos roamed Earth. Today, rhino numbers hover around 29500 – a 41% increase in a decade.
The government of South Africa and dedicated conservationists teamed up to bring the southern white rhino back from fewer than 100 individuals in the early 1900s to roughly 20000 today.
via IOL
Like most Americans, I have a wide assortment of guns that I hunt with and am sexually attracted to. Literally nothing makes me feel more alive than having someone drive me to where rare animals live organically, completely self-sustaining, and having the ability to pierce their neck with a rifle from my boosted seat in a jeep 300 yards away.
This conservation effort couldn’t come soon enough for the Trophy Hunting industry, which has been relentlessly persecuted and oppressed for exercising our divine-given rights over this planet to eat anything or hang it on our basement wall.
Last month, the 2018 State of the Rhino report was released. It shows that overall, two-thirds of the world’s five rhino species could be lost in our lifetime.
I truly love the State of the Rhino report issuing a direct challenge like this to all of us hunters. The thought of getting the final kill really gets my trigger finger tremble with excitement and should finally increase my penis size as outlined on the receipt of my assault rifle.
So pack up your Jimmy Johns sandwiches and lets get out there fellas. It has been too long since I had my picture taken with the head of a glossy-eyed endangered species drenched in blood. I hang my recent pictures up on my fridge, right next to where my young daughter hangs up her half-assed macaroni-colored art piece. My sexually frustrated wife will likely rethink her comments on the macaroni art being better than the one of me riding a dead rhino. I can’t wait to have her show the pictures to her personal trainer Seth, who she has been spending a lot of time with recently.
