26 Questions on Your Doctor’s Application for a Hospital with Socialized Medicine

Welcome to the year 2021 United States single-payer socialized medicine. The booming past successes of socialism and single-payer healthcare in Venezuela, USSR, North Korea, Vietnam, and countless others  have allowed us to start this program enthusiastically. Thank you for your interest in applying.

Just fill out the job application questionnaire below and we’ll get back to you in the next 30 – 180 days with some more hurdles or paperwork we find to send you.

Job Requirements

• Over 18/years of age or have a fake ID
• Have a bachelors degree or a printed picture of a bachelor degree
• Have a PhD or have a white coat
• Good at hiding

Questions:

1. Are you a team player
2. What’s ur favorite body part besides genitals
3. Where do u see yourself in five years
4. Are you good at surgery
5. If not have u played the game Operation ?
6. How many bones are in the body besides penis
7. Do you like white coats
8. Do you like white people
9. Are you good at hiding in closets from needy patients
10. How long can you hide in closets
11. Have you seen Greys Anatomy
12. Are you willing to watch Greys Anatomy during work hours
13. Does the potential to learn how to do surgery from popular fictional TV shows seem fun y/n
14. How comfortable are you w/ kids
15. Have u ever told kids their parents might die if they cant tough out their hemorrhaging intestines for another 6 months before u can see them
16. Are you comfortable working full time 20-24 hours a week
17. Do you typically underperform due to boredom or agnosticism of others
18. Do you like clipboards
19. Do you remember that paper clip from Microsoft Word lol he was cute
20. What was the name of that paper clip
21. Do you know how to pretend to write while people are talking
22. Wait I think that his name was Clippy
23. Do you think you can hide in a closet for 5 years (estimate is fine)
24. Besides relaxation, what’s the main goal of you wanting to be here
25. Are you comfortable with patients dying
26. Are you comfortable with letting patients die for budgetary considerations

Thanks for your interest in applying. Nobody reads these lol bye.