Welcome to the year 2021 United States single-payer socialized medicine. The booming past successes of socialism and single-payer healthcare in Venezuela, USSR, North Korea, Vietnam, and countless others have allowed us to start this program enthusiastically. Thank you for your interest in applying.
Just fill out the job application questionnaire below and we’ll get back to you in the next 30 – 180 days with some more hurdles or paperwork we find to send you.
Job Requirements
- Over 18/years of age or have a fake ID
- Have a bachelors degree or a printed picture of a bachelor degree
- Have a PhD or have a white coat
- Good at hiding
Questions:
- Are you a team player
- What’s ur favorite body part besides genitals
- Where do u see yourself in five years
- Are you good at surgery
- If not have u played the game Operation ?
- How many bones are in the body besides penis
- Do you like white coats
- Do you like white people
- Are you good at hiding in closets from needy patients
- How long can you hide in closets
- Have you seen Greys Anatomy
- Are you willing to watch Greys Anatomy during work hours
- Does the potential to learn how to do surgery from popular fictional TV shows seem fun y/n
- How comfortable are you w/ kids
- Have u ever told kids their parents might die if they cant tough out their hemorrhaging intestines for another 6 months before u can see them
- Are you comfortable working full time 20-24 hours a week
- Do you typically underperform due to boredom or agnosticism of others
- Do you like clipboards
- Do you remember that paper clip from Microsoft Word lol he was cute
- What was the name of that paper clip
- Do you know how to pretend to write while people are talking
- Wait I think that his name was Clippy
- Do you think you can hide in a closet for 5 years (estimate is fine)
- Besides relaxation, what’s the main goal of you wanting to be here
- Are you comfortable with patients dying
- Are you comfortable with letting patients die for budgetary considerations
Thanks for your interest in applying. Nobody reads these lol bye.
Within +/- 5, what’s the highest number of patients you’ve killed or injured in 1 day?
Is your malpractice carrier located in the Ukraine or other former Soviet Union?
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